I give up
Lately, the post office requires its employees to ask a bunch of questions when someone sends a package. It goes like this:
Me: Hi, I'd like to mail this package, please.
USPS agent: Is there anything liquid, fragile, perishable or potentially hazardous?
Me: No.
USPS agent: Do you want delivery confirmation?
Me: No.
USPS agent: Do you need any stamps?
Me: No.
To avoid this back-and-forth, I tried last week to preempt the required line of questioning.
Me: Hi, I'd like to mail this package, please. There's nothing inside that is liquid, fragile, perishable or potentially hazardous. Also, I don't need delivery confirmation. Or extra stamps.
USPS agent: Is there anything liquid, fragile, perishable or potentially hazardous?
Me:
USPS agent: We're required to ask it, sir.
8 comments:
But did he still ask if you wanted delivery confirmation and stamps? I could understand if they were legally required to ask the first question, but the others are just a way for the post office to make money!
If asking dl004d whether he needs stamps will help keep postage costs down, I'm all for it.
This ALSO doesn't work:
Smiling: "I'd like to mail this package, and I don't need anything else."
- Is there anything hazardous ... etc.?
"No."
- Would you like to buy a phone card
Not smiling: "I don't need anything else."
- Would you like to buy insurance for the package or delivery confirmation?
Sarcastically: "I don't need anything else."
- And do you need stamps today?
Ticked: "I (pause) don't need anything else. Thank. You."
... which is what happens every time I go to the Post Office.
You could use the time wisely and ask the person if glass qualifies under "liquid" as well as "fragile". If not, would really thick glass that was unlikely to break (like an Ace Award) would be a problem.
I'd like to mail a block of ice. It's neither liquid, fragile, perishable nor potentially hazardous.
Wait -- is ice perishable?
I also wonder about "potentially" hazardous. Have you SEEN the warning that come on packages these days? A plastic bag, as we all know, is potentially hazardous (and most certainly not a toy). (A warning I've always found amusing. Who is saying, 'Here, kid -- play with this!' and giving out plastic grocery bags?)
I defy you to name a product that's not potentially hazardous. You'll just have to give me a couple minutes to come up with the hazard.
"No, it's not liquid. Yet."
I just made my own "Contents does not contain anything liquid, fragile, perishable or potentially hazardous." labels that print on the Avery 8160 sheets and as they ask the robotic question I am pointing to the answer/label on the package.
Post a Comment