Get a tan, Tony

In August, Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser made his debut as a Monday Night Football announcer. Reviewing Tony's performance for the Post, Paul Farhi wrote that wrote that Kornheiser "mostly spluttered." Farhi added that Tony would look better on TV if he got a tan.

Farhi told me, over e-mail, that he was trying to "just be honest about it."

Other highlights from our conversation include that he would ask his wife to face the potential splash-back when cooking gnocchi and that he is willing to research the attractiveness of Condoleezza Rice's legs.

Below is the complete conversation with Farhi.

Other than the Washington Post, what newspapers do you read regularly?

I would love to say I read six papers a day. I don't. I read the Post cover to cover — just about everything — every day. Then I might look at the New York Times, Wall St. Journal, L.A. Times, USA Today, plus lots of websites. Or not.

With the fall TV season starting, which new shows do you plan to watch?
"Studio 60" and "30 Rock" (I love SNL). "Jericho." "Knights of Prosperity" (looks intriguing; will probably be bad). "Smith." "The Nine." "Kidnapped." "Shark." "Ugly Betty." Phew! My family is gonna kill me.

Which program will be canceled first?

A tie: "Men in Trees" and "Happy Hour."

Which are more annoying: NFL sideline reporters or the news crawl at the bottom of the screen on news channels?

News crawl is waaaay more annoying. Sideline reporters sometimes give you a useful fact (key word: sometimes). Crawls never do. And the crawls don't go away until the Ex-Lax and Head-On commercials come on...

Who has better legs: Katie Couric or Condoleezza Rice?

Haven't really seen Condi's legs, so I have to abstain. But I'm willing to do "research."

Who has better abs, Matt Lauer or Anderson Cooper?

Not sure, but I bet it's Lauer. President Bush said so, and that dude is in shape.

In August, you were tasked with critiquing Tony Kornheiser when he debuted on Monday Night Football. Did you feel any pressure to be hard on him to prove that you weren't a hometown homer?

No. I was aware that I could be perceived as being too hard on Tony. I was also aware that I could be perceived as being too kind. So I tried to just be honest about it.

Really, would a tan even help Tony?

No comment on Tony's appearance!

Why do people like me continue to dwell on this topic? Don't we have anything better to talk about?

I'd love to change the subject (re: Tony), but people keep asking about it. I don't want to be rude, so I talk about it. But if you'd like to change the subject, I would thank you. Hey, how 'bout those Redskins, eh?

Is it possible to cook gnocchi without significant splash-back?

Well, to tell you the truth, I don't cook, so I don't really gnocchi (Italian-English word play!). But I know what I would do in this situation: Ask my wife to do it (the woman can really cook!)

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