The declining expectations of government work

During the Packers-Cowboys game last night, announcer Bryant Gumbel watched Green Bay get close to a first down and predicted that the team had come up short. He described the head referee's decision that the Packers had indeed gotten the first down thus: "John Perry says that's close enough for government work."

Since Gumbel hadn't thought the Packers deserved that first down, presumably he used that expression as a slight on government work.

Yet when the phrase originated during World War II, something that was "good enough for government work" meant it could pass the most rigorous of standards.

Somewhere in between Rosie The Riveter and Bryant Gumbel, the phrase came to mean the opposite.

My god, look at all that parking

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. — West Coast correspondent SKBK sent in this picture while on a business trip in California.

Most cities have a street sign or two that welcomes visitors to town and tells them the population. Or the mayor's name. Or a catchy slogan.

But Palm Springs chooses to emphasize that it offers free unlimited parking until June 30, 2008.

(Thank you to Matt B. for the inspiration for the headline to this post.)

First a quarter, then voting rights?

Never mind the fact that residents here in the District pay federal income tax without having a single voting representative in Congress. First things first — let's give D.C. a quarter.

The New York Times says that the House has approved a bill to let the U.S. Mint design a quarter to honor D.C.

The proposal is now before the Senate Banking Committee.

I'm a long way from 10th & L

JQB laughed when I pointed up the street from my new house and said there is a forest a few blocks away. But there is, sort of.

Actually, it is Fort Bunker Hill. A plaque I uncovered in the middle of the forest reads: "One of the Civil War defenses in Washington erected in the fall of 1861, Fort Bunker Hill occupied an important position between Fort Totten and Fort Lincoln in the defense of the National Capital."

Underground railroad

JQB pointed out that above-ground Metro stops are a sign of the suburbs. And he's right, the Brookland station is reminiscent of the Maryland stops further up the Red Line.

But the Metro ride is much more enjoyable when there's something to see out the window.¹ In fact, I wish my whole ride was above ground.

Interestingly, a group in favor of underground rail sued the U.S. Department of Transportation yesterday seeking to halt the Dulles Metro extension project because it is above ground.<sup>2


1</sup>This is why I love the "flipbook" ads between Metro Center and Gallery Place.
²H/T William World News.

Welcome to Brookland

Marnie & I have moved to a neighborhood in Northeast called Brookland.¹

It marks the fourth place I've lived in D.C. in nine years (the first three were in Northwest at 30th & N; 20th & Belmont; and 10th & L). Life is good here in Northeast. Actually, it's pretty darn similar except that it's harder to find a cab.

¹Whenever I say "Brookland," people think I'm saying "Brooklyn." I've tried saying the word differently, but there's really no way around this confusion.

Welcome to my life, Sharp Aquos

HYATTSVILLE, Md. — Seeking to save money on a new TV, I arrived at Circuit City at 4 a.m. on "Black Friday," an hour before the store opened.

I waited in line for 3 1/2 hours, and by the time I got to the front the store had sold out of the TV that I wanted. But — as I implied to my Twitter audience — I left happy.

Then I emerged from the store to see the sunrise on East-West Highway. Shopping on Black Friday was a crazy experience, but I'd do it again.

It's not you, it's me

During the last two football seasons, when I have watched Boise State play, the Broncos are 0-2. In all other games, the team is 23-0.

Maybe Carrie Underwood or Sophia Bush still call him Antonio

Well, I watched all three NFL games on Thanksgiving.

In the midst of enjoying Jessica's homemade apple pie, I heard the CBS announcers discussing Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo's upbringing and his decision to Americanize his name.

According to the CBS announcers during the Thanksgiving game, Tony was born Antonio Ramiro Romo. Romo's paternal grandparents are from Mexico and his mother's family is a mix of German and Polish ancestry.¹

At some point during his Wisconsin childhood, he ditched the name Antonio.


¹Romo grew up in Burlington, Wis., and played football for Eastern Illinois University. In retrospect, the Wisconsin Badgers look pretty stupid for not recruiting him. But it wasn't just the Badgers who ignored him — not a single Division I school offered him a scholarship. And despite Romo winning the Walter Payton Award as the top offensive player in Division I-AA, no NFL team drafted him. As a side note, the two quarterbacks Wisconsin chose over Romo (Broks Bollinger and Jim Sorgi) were both drafted and remain NFL backups.

Turf wars

It's a strange obsession, sure, but I love artificial turf.¹

I correct people who misuse the word "turf." And I stand in support of Silver Spring's SoftLawn™ covering (even though it isn't particularly soft and almost always needs a cleaning.)

Today, David A. Fahrenthold of the Washington Post informs us of a controversial plan in nearby Howard and Anne Arundel counties to spend $7 million installing artificial turf in area parks. The money is from an "open space" program intended to protect nature against development.

Paving over grass with fake grass isn't particularly good for, say, the grass. And environmentalists worry that the rubber pellets used to simulate dirt could contaminate the groundwater. Then again, groundskeepers won't be using pesticides to keep the playing fields in tip-top shape.


¹My 5th grade year-end project was on artificial turf. I surveyed about 15 college coaches on which playing surface they preferred. At the time, the current artificial turf boutique consisted of only a few choices, and Tartan Turf and AstroTurf were the industry leaders. For more on my extensive research, see my mom's family publications cabinet.

Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

In nine years, I went to the Childe Harold only once.

The Dupont Circle saloon closed earlier this month. The Washington Post reminds us that in its day the Childe Harold hosted Bruce Springsteen, Bonnie Raitt, the Ramones, and Emmylou Harris.

Not at the same time, though.

Still, I probably should have gone a few more times when I lived nearby.

Pennypacker

Marnie & I stopped by Moe's Southwest Grill for a meal last weekend.

The burrito menu lists the following choices: Homewrecker, Triple Lindy, Joey Bag of Donuts and Art Vandalay.

Does Moe have to pay Jerry Seinfeld for marketing a product named after George Costanza's alter-ego? If not, I should have thought of doing this years ago.

But wait a minute. Moe spells it "Vandalay" while NBC spelled it "Vandelay" in its guides. Does Moe avoid royalty payments by tweaking the spelling?

Extreme fit

An apparels outfit called Ahead makes a baseball hat in a style called "extreme fit."

It fits you... to the extreme!

I just thought you should know.

Roll Tide

A new cleaning product from the folks at Tide claims to remove odors, stains and wrinkles from clothes without using water.

You just spray your clothes with a can of Swash, Tide claims.

I hate both stains and laundry, leaving me with just two questions:

• Does it really work?
• How soon will I get cancer from whatever chemicals I'm supposed to spray all over the place?

Don the Mastodon

Welcome to the latest installment of places I had never heard of.

Today's lesson covers Indiana University-Purdue University at Fort Wayne, which is a sister school of occasional NCAA Tournament team IUPUI (that's Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis).

Their basketball uniforms, which I saw up close in courtside seats a week or two ago, read IPFW. And the team's mascot is Don the Mastodon.

Itchy & Scratchy money

Here's what I learned today:

Here in the United States, there is a $20 million "nationwide underground economy" that accepts currency printed in the likeness of Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas).

This currency, called Liberty Dollars, is backed by silver and gold stored in Idaho.

Thank you to Alec MacGillis of the Washington Post for bringing this to the attention of those of us who were out of the loop and didn't know we were missing out an an exciting underground economy.

Dilbert

Scott Adams gave an interview recently in which he said the following: "I worked around engineers for most of my 16 years of corporate life. Dilbert is actually designed after one person in particular. Interestingly, that person is not aware that he is the model for Dilbert. I didn’t know him well and never mentioned it to him."

Interesting.

Someone is walking around right now unaware that he is the model for Dilbert.

Sure, the character in question is a dopey loner who can never get anyone around him to listen to his ideas. But if I were the model for Dilbert, I'd want to know about it.

If only for the royalty checks.

On airport codes

Yeah, yeah, a pilot fell asleep on the approach to Denver International Airport. But this news story refers several times to DIA.

Haven't we learned yet that the airport code is DEN, not DIA?

(DIA is actually the airport code for Dia Island in Greece.)

Speaking of airport codes, it has come to my attention that the code for Sioux Gateway Airport is SUX. Evidently, the Iowa city is making the code part of a new marketing campaign.

While at the Sarasota-Bradenton Airport, I noticed that the airport signs (see picture) welcome passengers to "SRQ," rather than mention either of the two cities the airport services.

From Pippin to Hollywood

Someone I used to work with as counselors at a summer camp has a role in an upcoming film directed by Robert Redford and starring Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep.

I'm famous!

Broken Egg story TK

SARASOTA, Fla. — That's it for my Florida dispatches. The visit was both melancholy, as we paid tribute to FAR, and wonderful, as we caught up with family.

Also, the view from our hotel room didn't suck very much.

No longer the forbidden fruit

I've had absinthe twice — once legally in Portugal and once illegally in New York City.

Absinthe, of course, is made from wormwood, which contains the chemical thujone, and has a reputation for causing hallucinogenic effects, making the drink popular among those who want to taste for themselves the inspiration for Toulouse-Lautrec, van Gogh, Manet, Degas, Picasso and Munch.

Now, it seems, the high-proof liquor is becoming less risqué. According to the New York Times, the U.S. now allows Lucid Absinthe Supérieure (of France) and Kübler Absinthe Supérieure (of Switzerland) to import absinthe.

It will be interesting to see whether legalizing it will make it less exciting. And if absinthe isn't cutting edge, what's the point?

myFlorida.com, the Sunshine State

SARASOTA, Fla. — Florida has kept the Sunshine State motto on its license plates. But the state has rebranded itself from "Florida" to "myFlorida.com."

Jellyfish at Mote Marine

SARASOTA, Fla. — Not quite four years ago, Marnie & I went swimming in Jellyfish Lake, located somewhere in Palau's Rock Islands. The adventure remains the coolest thing I've ever done in my life.

Then for awhile¹ I forgot all about jellyfish...

... Until our trip to Mote Marine, where we saw the jellyfish tanks pictured above.

Sigh. I want to go back to Palau.

¹With one exception.

Finding Nemo's Under Armor

SARASOTA, Fla. — Clownfish, such as this random one I found online, look to me like regular orange fish that are wearing a white tight-fitting Under Armor strips.

At the Mote Marine Laboratory, I took a picture with my phone that didn't come out very well.

Come for the oysters, stay for the beer pitchers

SARASOTA, Fla. — Sure, the seafood is great at Phillippi Creek Village Restaurant.

But I am more impressed with an innovation that needs to come to D.C.-area bars immediately: the beer pitcher with a built-in freezer pack.

It keeps the beer cold at all times, plus it makes the pitcher bigger and appear at first glance (or after the consumption of many beers) to hold more beer.

Do you hear me, D.C.-area bars?

Go, go, go!

SARASOTA, Fla. — Sure, Florida has some slow drivers. But is this sign really necessary?

Ugly car

SARASOTA, Fla. — While in Florida for a few days, we got around in a "retro waggon"¹ called the Chevrolet HHR . Marnie hated the color² and called it the ugliest car she'd ever seen.

I loved it, however, mostly because we could quickly pick it out of a parking lot filled with blues and silvers.

Meanwhile, get ready for a slew of Sarasota-related posts.


¹This is Chevrolet's term for "PT Cruiser knock-off."
²Sunburst orange metallic.

Burying the lede

During yesterday's "Mike & Mike" radio show, hosts Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic discussed steroid use. Golic was a defensive lineman for Notre Dame, the Houston Oilers, Philadelphia Eagles and Miami Dolphins.

Greenberg: You were a player in the National Football League for nine years.
Golic: Yep.
Greenberg: And you were clean. You didn't use steroids.
Golic: No, no. I did try steroids. For about six weeks in an off-season. Yeah. When I had blown my shoulder out. I actually didn't do it for six weeks. I did it for a few weeks and stopped because it had kind of a bad effect as I was lifting.
Greenberg: Okay. Let's say for the sake of this discussion you did not.

Uh, Golic used steroids? Did we know this? Did he have a legal prescription or did he just admit to breaking the Federal Anabolic Steroid Control Act? And what was the "bad effect" that the drugs did to him? Unfortunately, Greenberg, a newsman who also hosts ESPN SportsCenter, did not pursue this line of questioning on his co-host.

Does Michael Jackson have congressional representation?

TMZ.com says Michael Jackson "rents an expensive home in Washington, D.C."

Do they mean the city itself? Or just the general area?

After all, Jackson was said to be house-hunting this spring in St. Michaels, Md., which is 75 miles to the east of town.

Singing is allowed

The Black Rock Orchard, which sells apple cider at my (old) neighborhood farmers market, seems to impose a lot of rules on its shoppers.

But it does allow singing.

Phew.

Good thing for the troops that the team isn't undefeated

As a follow-up to the news of Navy's win over Notre Dame, I learned that the Naval Academy canceled classes yesterday to give cadets more time to celebrate the victory.

I love football more than anyone I know.¹ But with our nation at war, perhaps our future military officers should to be subject more, not fewer, classes.

¹This includes a buddy who played Div. II football and was a high school football coach.

Anchors aweigh

Last year at this time, Amy & Jeff took me to Baltimore to see Notre Dame beat Navy for the 43rd straight time. (I had a great time but complained about the bad puns and parking prices.)

Anyway, it has come to my attention that Navy won this year's game against Notre Dame, making my experience at M&T Bank Stadium historic. The 43 straight wins for the Fighting Irish over the Midshipman is the all-time college football record for most consecutive wins by one team over another, and I saw it happen.

I'm famous!

Better hours

During my two weeks of commuting to work from Quincy Park, I walked past Heery International each morning and evening.

Not once did I see a single person at their desk or anywhere else in the office.

Heery is next door to the National Labor Relations Board, which knows a thing or two about unfair labor practices. Perhaps NLRB has used their leverage to work fewer hours for everyone on their block.

200 steps from home

Picture taken with my Razr.

For two weeks, I had a 7-minute walk to work. My office was just a few blocks away. It was quite something to leave for work each day at 8:20 a.m. and arrive before 8:30 a.m. On my way home from work the very last time on this commute, I noticed that Irish statesman Edmund Burke seemed to be waiving goodbye.

Location: Home Depot aisle

Me: Oooh, look. Sump pumps. We could get a sump pump.
Marnie: Come on, let's go.
Me: Yeah, but ... sump pumps!
Marnie: We don't know anything about them. This is the blind leading the blind.
Random shopper, to me: I think she just called you blind, man.

The curse of the downtown stadium trend

It all comes down to parking.

How do Major League Baseball players know when they are about to be randomly tested for performance-enhancing drugs?

"The night before testers arrive at major league stadiums to take urine samples from players, officials for the home team receive a call from the testing company requesting stadium and parking passes for the drug testers," reports the New York Times.

Thanks to the wave of stadiums being built in downtown areas, parking is evidently a real problem. In order to keep the timing of their visits a surprise, maybe the drug testers could take taxis to the stadiums. Assuming the cabbies aren't on strike, that is.