As you exit, protect yourself

Once again, I've used my camera-phone to take a picture in the bathroom,
a practice Marnie finds to be "creepy."

Next to the bathroom door at the Newseum is a special paper towel dispenser designed to provide a germ-free exit.

The sign reads: "As you exit, protect yourself. Use a tissue to open the door."

Now, I'm one of the people they had in mind when they installed this thing. After all, I have long thought that the hand-washing process in public bathrooms is problematic.

Still, this contraption would be unnecessary if people washed their hands before leaving the bathroom. In acknowledging that some people don't wash their hands, this towel dispenser is providing cover for those people.

New lower prices every day

Quiznos says it will have new lower prices every day.

At that rate, subs ought to be free by next month.

Niche media

Thomas Jefferson famously said, "If it were left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter."

As everyone knows, the traditional journalism model is in trouble.

There's not much profit to be made selling newspapers filled with the same stories that are available for free to readers in a much more convenient format. And today's readership prefers an interaction with the news that papers alone simply can't provide.

Yet, as Jefferson points out, investigative journalism is vital in a democracy. And we're not going to maintain our current level of journalism by laying off reporters, which seems to be the cost-cutting trend.

Filling the void, Howard Kurtz pointed earlier this month, are high-priced newsletters and trade publications. Rather than write for the general public, which is the target of newspapers, these smaller outfits provide content for niche audiences willing to pay large sums for the information.

This jumped at me today as I read the New York Times online and flipped through the Politico, which is delivered to my desk each morning.

The New York Times covered President Obama's call to Congress for a climate change bill not with a staff reporter but with a syndicated article published by ClimateWire, one of those aforementioned high-priced newsletters.

And Politico detailed the lobbying battle over new climate change legislation in a front-page story written not by a staff reporter but by someone at the Center for Public Integrity.

Outsourcing — the future of journalism?

The deluxe bill holder

Aside from the difficulties of dropping gnocchi (or tortellini or ravioli) into a pot of boiling water without significant splash-back, the biggest problem facing the world today has to do with the little leather-bound folder that holds a restaurant bill and pen.¹

At least it purports to be a bill-and-pen holder. But the problem, of course, is that it doesn't hold a pen.

Oh sure, it looks like you could fit a pen in the crease. But if you try to do that, the folder won't close. Maybe the crease is designed that way on purpose to insure higher tips. (The bill holder with the pen wedged in the crease, as pictured below, exposes the tip amount to everyone passing by to the surrounding tables.)

The only remaining alternative is to just shove the pen somewhere else in the folder. There's no space for it, mind you, but it can be done. Still, the picture below shows that it is impossible to close the folder all the way.

Keep in mind that wait staff generally picks up the folder with one hand while multi-tasking on other errands to or from another table or the kitchen. As a result, leaving the pen off to the side is not an option.

Unless you simply steal the pen, that is.

I simply do not see how America can rebuild its economy without solving this important problem.


¹It is occasionally called the restaurant bill folder. Or bill presenter. Or bill holder.

Now open during business hours!

I haven't had a D.C. bank account in years, in part because of their limited hours. In 1999, I closed my SunTrust account in frustration that the branches closed at 3 p.m. and weren't open on weekends.

Walking by the Wachovia at 13th & I the other night, I noticed a sign touting the bank's hours as 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday.

I’m not sure what to think when a bank brags about being open during standard "banking hours."

Julia Gulia

Remember when I decided that Steve Carell looks like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

Well, now I've discovered that Matthew Glave (top left), who played Glenn Gulia in "The Wedding Singer," resembles Indian actor Anil Kaoor (top right), who played game show host Prem Kumar in "Slumdog Millionaire."

Nine red? No one takes nine red!

A couple years ago, I set my lifetime record by driving from Dulles Airport to our home in downtown D.C. without hitting a single red light. (14 greens, 0 reds.)

It's an achievement I have never been able to duplicate.¹

In fact, I can’t even get through my four-blocks walk from the Metro to my office without hitting at least one red light. My only hope, after 17 months, is that they change the timing of the traffic signals.

¹Enough steroid talk. It's time to get back to what this site is all about: bite-sized portions of triviality, served up since 1997.

'I have the paper here'

Congratulations to ESPN's Peter Gammons for landing the first interview of Alex Rodriguez since the Yankees third baseman admitted to using steroids.

During the interview, Rodriguez three times expressed his disdain for Selena Roberts, who was the first to report about Rodriguez's positive drug tests.

Here's part of what Rodriguez said:

I mean, what makes me upset is that Sports Illustrated pays this lady, Selena Roberts, to stalk me. This lady has been thrown out of my apartment in New York City. This lady has five days ago just been thrown out of the University of Miami police for trespassing. And four days ago, she tried to break into my house where my girls are up there sleeping, and got cited by the Miami Beach police. I have the paper here. This lady is coming out with all these allegations, all these lies because she's writing an article for Sports Illustrated and she's coming out with a book in May. Really respectable journalists are following this lady off the cliff and following her lead. And that, to me, is unfortunate.

Selena Roberts tried to break into Rodriguez's house while his daughters were sleeping? ESPN didn't follow up on this topic, so I don't know whether this is true. Can someone do the legwork on this for me, please? I clearly need a hard-nosed reporter for this task. I wonder if Selena Roberts is available.

Steroid talk on Mike & Mike In The Morning

On his radio show Nov. 7, 2007, Mike Golic told listeners that he used steroids for a few weeks in the 1980s while playing in the NFL:

"I did try steroids. For about six weeks in an off-season. Yeah. When I had blown my shoulder out. I actually didn't do it for six weeks. I did it for a few weeks and stopped because it had kind of a bad effect as I was lifting."

Okay, so his illegal drug use for was less than six weeks. Gotcha. But today on his radio show, Golic repeated the story and changed his facts a bit:

"I used steroids in '87 coming back from a reconstructed shoulder. I used it for about six to eight weeks to try to get back to mini-camp."

Aha! So it was more than six weeks! Golic added,

"Before the emails start coming in that I condone the use of steroids, I don't. I took them. And I did it at the time to save my job.

The lesson? Don't do steroids unless you need to save your job.

An easy to way ensure she could see Bristol from her house

I had no idea Sarah Palin was a huge sports fan until I read a few things she told Esquire. For example, she explained part of the reason behind her daughter Bristol's name:

"Bristol, Connecticut, is the home of ESPN. And when I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster. ESPN was just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that's what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman sportscasters. Until I learned that you'd have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol."

Palin's unwillingness to move to Connecticut, I suppose, paved the way for Linda Cohn to become the first full-time U.S. female sports anchor.

As you know, I toured ESPN's Bristol campus last fall. See video. And photos.

Breakfast of champions

By now you've seen this photo of Michael Phelps using a bong at a party at the University of South Carolina.¹

Some critics have questioned whether his fans should still hold him in high regard. But if anything, his marijuana use makes his athletic accomplishments even more impressive and should help, not hurt, his reputation for amazing swimming endurance.

After all, if Phelps has an appetite for marijuana, it means he's doing drugs that hurt his athletic endurance. For the purpose of athletic stamina, marijuana is not a performance-enhancing drug — smoking is an activity that erodes physical fitness.

No wonder he spends six hours per day training and building endurance.


¹The photo was published first in News of the World, a British tabloid owned by Rupurt Murdoch.

Thank you, forged document

Click here to see more from this year's Arlington Invitational touch-football game, held each year¹ on Super Bowl Sunday.


¹Well, except for last year. Click here to relive the 2007 match-up.